Ocean of Lonesome and Sadness

God, I know I should thank You for a month you gave me to gather with my family.
We didn't go to many places. We just went to common places, bought ordinary things like clothes, bags, so on. But I don't think that's enough. Seeing my mom's messages on facebook only makes me feel like going back home. I sometimes feel I have made wrong decision to school here. It's been my second semester to be university student here in this city. but I still cannot eliminate this lonely feeling. My friends surround me, fill my time but that cannot make this lonesome away. I even have ignored them for some time because I was too much into that darn feeling. I feel disgusted of myself, for being a person who can't be grateful to God for what He has given. I always ask more, more while God has declared that's enough. God is never wrong and I'm sure of it, but why do I always feel something's wrong? I can't think rationally now. Tears have been my close friend since I arrived here in Depok. I really don't like crying, I try my best avoiding it. but that's what it's called 'nature', 'naturally'. I can't avoid something naturally happens.
My mother asks me to pray when that lonesome and sadness come. But I am still weak, I can't fight them. I get better after praying, but when I do my activities, suddenly those things come to my mind and stay there. they don't want to go though I've ordered them. I'm so bashful whenever I see my friends smile like they don't drown in the ocean of lonesome and sadness. They are like me, people who come from other city here only for school but they successfully avoid those feelings.\

Actually, this can't end without me being strong. I know counting on God is key of being strong. but I don't know... some parts of myself disagree with His choice.
God, You never comes late helping me. I beg You... Help me to put away my lonely and sad feeling, help me to fully agree with Your will, help me through this difficult time... I'm drowning in this ocean and it's You who can help me. I know I ask too much. I am sorry for being sinful who ask more than I should ask...

but I know, You will.