I come here to throw trash in my mind.

I am in anxiety, almost gone depressed. I ruminate problem about relationship I am currently facing.
I know there is nothing to hope in this relationship. But I realize I am not that strong. I think I do not deserve love at all. I have terrible personality combined with horrible face. I expect too much while I already received a lot. In one part I feel I am in the wrong side, while the other part of me thinks I am the rightest.

I know this is bullshit, you may think. I don't know how to express this. I just realize how undeserved and unworthy I am.