The Goods seen from loads of The Bads

I never think this kind of sickness is gonna happen to me...at this very age. I mean, I'm still 20! =(

Something wrong has happened, and is still happening, with the area of my waist and coccyx for two months. When I sit for some times and then go to stand, when I bend, squat, or raise from my bed, I feel pain in those areas. At first I thought that's only caused by simple sleeping disposition and could be healed by massage. But I had done two massages, one when I was still in Depok and the second one in Medan. Yes, I felt better but the pain still did not stop. Even recently it's got worse, perhaps because I danced too hard haha and I still do everything, like sitting, sleeping in a wrong position. Then my mom and I decided to go for a doctor, a neurologist for specific. He told me his hypothesis, but to make it sure, he asked me to go for MRI.

At first I did not know what kind of thing MRI is, thinking that it's just a simple scan, until I found out how much my mom should pay for that. I was shocked because it costed more than one million rupiahs. I felt so guilty and asked my mom to just go for traditional method of treatment. But she said it's fine and going for that kind of method would only bring me nowhere, because I've tried it twice. I felt grateful really for having such a nice mother and felt guilty at the same time, for I had a fight with her and my dad previous days.

Then at night I prayed for my recovery; instant recovery for exact. But yeah, seems like a miracle was not given to me easily. I still woke up in pain.

Then I went for MRI the next morning with my mom and finally knew the reason why it costed that much. MRI is more sophisticated, using magnetic thingies well dont know for exact, and I should be checked in a tunnel for about 30 minutes. Well, the result came in the afternoon.

And you know what? What the doctor deducted was true. What is his hypothesis? Well, on the previous day he told me that my nerve in the back is in a bind. That's caused by the membrane or what it's called that's bridged one skulls to another has broken and make the skulls in a disposition. Actually, this kind of thing is degenerative; happen to old people. But for my case, it may be caused by my bad habit of wrong position of sitting, sleeping, etc. And you know what's worse? Because the membrane has broken, then I should have some of my skulls be in a disposition in the future. Well, it's not deathly but... it's surely heck disturbing.

I'm ashamed, to be honest, for having this kind of sickness in this age. I mean, if I already have had this kind of sickness NOW, how about in the future, when I got older? My mom said not to worry and doctor himself told me the ways to prevent this to get worse. But I just like...

Lesson for me. Lesson for you too.

But I just can't show no mercy to God.
Because this incident just teaches me more about how to pray (yeaah, I begin to pray more seriously finally after this hehe) and have faith in God for what I've prayed.
And this just tells me that my parents really love me. My mom drove me from home to hospital, took me to the doctor while she himself still had other things to do like going to work, picking my sis and bro at school, and she just allowed my ticket to go to Jakarta, which had been paid off, canceled so that I can go for therapy in Medan. While I was just complaining that I did more for them but they did not care for me, this incident really told me that what I did to them was nothing even less than what they did.

Yeah... I'm still 20 but already have this kind of sickness. Welcome!