"I believe in God. I do trust He exists. But I don't think I should stick with any religion... I don't think any of them suit me, suit values I'm holding..."
Recently, I've been realized that people, who call themselves agnostics, really exist, here in Indonesia. As we all know, Indonesia is a religious country and, perhaps because I usually live in the places where people are known to have their own religion, I am so surprised to know that agnostic one is really... soooo near to me. And I can't believe he was one I used to have a crush on...
He was Christian before. I am disappointed... Not because of my crush on him but more of how he throws away salvation offered for him just to hold what he thinks what's right...
Call me shitters, but I just conclude from everything I analyze on him. He's a libertarian--really is. and he's proud of it. He holds that fathom from top to toe of his. Not just an libertarian in economist, but for every aspect of his life, he holds that. That is , I figure, why he become agnostics... Trusting God but choose to hold no religion for he believes everyone has their own preference and should not be ruled by others...
I may not be as religious as a pastor, but I don't think becoming agnostics is a good decision of his life--nor of any people's life. If one thinks holding certain's religion will tie you for it consists of so many rules, norms, telling you what needs be done or not... If one thinks that doing as he/she likes is what's best for him/her... Then what does one believe in God for?
He is really influential. so unfortunate that he will only bring that kind of influence for his environment. I don't know what's so good from liberalism that he chooses to be with for his life. doesn't he realize that this fathom guarantees him nothing at the end? that this fathom will soon expire after his life? that it is vain to hold on and act according to such a fathom for all his life in this world?
If only he understands that it's not religion which rules... it's God, who has given life to every human in this world, who takes care of human when none's beside, who sacrifices His Son just to save human from death, so that He can live with His creature forever. If only he understands that after all God has done, there's no reason for him to crown himself as the king of his life... there's no reason for him to believe that he himself knows what's best for him, there's no reason for him to say he trusts God but because he has his own values he... arkh...
If only he knows that Christian is not only a religion and does not tie... it's an identity... for it tells everybody that 'I am a follower of Christ'. Which shows everybody that 'I am FREE! FREE FROM EVERLASTING DEATH! HEAVEN IS JUST ONE STEP AHEAD!'.
It's so hard for me to explain but never focus on the religion, focus on God. It's not religion that holds, but God does. it's not religion that saves, God does. It's not what you've done, but what God does that saves, for He sacrifices His own Son just for this world...
Well, I seem to dramatic and judgmental. But I'm so sad to know that one near to me can be like this. At last, that's his decision, for this time. I can only pray that God will do something for him...
2/04/2011
Go tell it!!~~
This friday is really amazing! I finally could do PI (read : pekabaran Injil) with my bestie, Yuliana. We did that together, thanks to God's bless, to three boys, age of which are around 8-11 years old. Those three boys are newspapers sellers in my campus. First, we asked just one person of them whom we firstly met. I decided to buy him a cake while Yuli bought his newspapers. But then I saw his other friend and bought him too. oh ya, the first boy was Jovan, while the second one was Fajar. We first asked them about their daily life, how come they sell newspapers and try to 'enter' the main topic with question related to lie. Then, we knew that they are all Christian. It made me braver to ask them about Jesus; who actually Jesus is, as they know. Their answer is actually as what Christian people must say.
Oh yaa we asked them if they went to church every SUnday. After that, one boy came. His name is Joel and he is cousin of Jovan. The conversation to enter main topice started from that, I thought. One of them said that he rarely went to church because his friends in the church always mocked him. Well, Yuli and I started to explain from that of why actually Christian goes to church. We told them again Jesus', our God, being crossed for our sin so that we should not be punished to death and be able to be in Heaven. They said they have ever been told about that. Yuli added that if they believe in Jesus, did what He said, prayed to Him, what they wanted could be fulfilled. Well, actually, at that time, Yuli and I were quite hesitant whether they could understand; this is our first time to do PI towards little boys. Thanks God they are Christian, at least they have known about Jesus. But we did not end there! We planned to follow up them next week and I wish we can continually meet every Friday afternoon. We require them to go church and not to care about their arrogant friends.
I am really happy yet sad at the same time. I don't know why, but when I tried to explain about Jesus being crossed as an exchange of our-MY-sin, my tears flew down. Their life-stories are sad but I dont think that's enough to make me cry. Well, I actually can't help to cry every time I remember about Jesus sacrifying in cross... It reminds me how good He is and how bad, weak I am...
Arkkhhhh. Suddenly labile! but, being labile due to this thing is not wrong, right? =)
Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
When I was a seeker
I sought both night and day,
I asked the Lord to help me,
And he showed me the way.
Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
He made me a watchman
Upon a city wall,
And if I am a Christian,
I am the least of all.
Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
Oh yaa we asked them if they went to church every SUnday. After that, one boy came. His name is Joel and he is cousin of Jovan. The conversation to enter main topice started from that, I thought. One of them said that he rarely went to church because his friends in the church always mocked him. Well, Yuli and I started to explain from that of why actually Christian goes to church. We told them again Jesus', our God, being crossed for our sin so that we should not be punished to death and be able to be in Heaven. They said they have ever been told about that. Yuli added that if they believe in Jesus, did what He said, prayed to Him, what they wanted could be fulfilled. Well, actually, at that time, Yuli and I were quite hesitant whether they could understand; this is our first time to do PI towards little boys. Thanks God they are Christian, at least they have known about Jesus. But we did not end there! We planned to follow up them next week and I wish we can continually meet every Friday afternoon. We require them to go church and not to care about their arrogant friends.
I am really happy yet sad at the same time. I don't know why, but when I tried to explain about Jesus being crossed as an exchange of our-MY-sin, my tears flew down. Their life-stories are sad but I dont think that's enough to make me cry. Well, I actually can't help to cry every time I remember about Jesus sacrifying in cross... It reminds me how good He is and how bad, weak I am...
Arkkhhhh. Suddenly labile! but, being labile due to this thing is not wrong, right? =)
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
When I was a seeker
I sought both night and day,
I asked the Lord to help me,
And he showed me the way.
Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
He made me a watchman
Upon a city wall,
And if I am a Christian,
I am the least of all.
Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.
Favorite daily quotes~~
"Nikmatilah disiplin rohani sebagai relasi yang hidup dengan Allah." (Kak Vivi)
(Enjoy doing spritual discipline as an alive relation with God)
*disiplin rohani includes praying, quiet time, meditation, and so forth.
It seems so long I do not enjoy my quiet time.
What the preacher said in this friday-worshipping was really really knocking me out. I wonder if God send her to give me some lessons about what is actually the main point of my doing quiet time. I even wonder if God, through event division, wants to tell me about how He does not need me to do quiet time just to show my face to Him without meaning.
God, through His words written in Bible, wants to keep me far away from danger, sin. He wants to show His love and shows the right path for me to walk on. He wants to have a close relationship with me.
Praying, doing quiet time are ones of His ways. For a long time, I thought them as my burden which is actually BIG NO!
Say YES to spiritual discipline!
"Itu semua tergantung ketahanan brainstorming kalian." (Kak Ella)
(All depends on how long you can survive to brainstorm)
*when MEDIKLIT met for the first time and talked about how to get the right title of an article.
That's just a simple sentence, but it is so memorable to me. Till now, I think God, through Kak Ella, wanted to tell me that I should not give up when I tried hard to think. Well, peeps, I am kind of people who is really lazy to think so deep (that is why if articles written here seemed so trashy kekekekek kidding!). I love writing a fictitious story and article but I have no willing to continue developing the idea; brainstorming idea deeper and deeper. Not only because of my laziness, but also my easily-distracted-mind. I would be ignorant in brainstorming if I found something more interesting and enjoyable.But that sentence from Kak Ella... I really thank God that I could hear it. Thanks God! Thanks Kak Ella! =)
(Enjoy doing spritual discipline as an alive relation with God)
*disiplin rohani includes praying, quiet time, meditation, and so forth.
It seems so long I do not enjoy my quiet time.
What the preacher said in this friday-worshipping was really really knocking me out. I wonder if God send her to give me some lessons about what is actually the main point of my doing quiet time. I even wonder if God, through event division, wants to tell me about how He does not need me to do quiet time just to show my face to Him without meaning.
God, through His words written in Bible, wants to keep me far away from danger, sin. He wants to show His love and shows the right path for me to walk on. He wants to have a close relationship with me.
Praying, doing quiet time are ones of His ways. For a long time, I thought them as my burden which is actually BIG NO!
Say YES to spiritual discipline!
"Itu semua tergantung ketahanan brainstorming kalian." (Kak Ella)
(All depends on how long you can survive to brainstorm)
*when MEDIKLIT met for the first time and talked about how to get the right title of an article.
That's just a simple sentence, but it is so memorable to me. Till now, I think God, through Kak Ella, wanted to tell me that I should not give up when I tried hard to think. Well, peeps, I am kind of people who is really lazy to think so deep (that is why if articles written here seemed so trashy kekekekek kidding!). I love writing a fictitious story and article but I have no willing to continue developing the idea; brainstorming idea deeper and deeper. Not only because of my laziness, but also my easily-distracted-mind. I would be ignorant in brainstorming if I found something more interesting and enjoyable.But that sentence from Kak Ella... I really thank God that I could hear it. Thanks God! Thanks Kak Ella! =)
2/03/2011
Read this, have faith, and be saved~~
John 3:16, 17
meaning
"Karena begitu besar kasih Allah akan dunia ini, sehingga Ia telah mengaruniakan Anak-Nya yang tunggal, supaya setiap orang yang percaya kepada-Nya tidak binasa melainkan beroleh hidup yang kekal. Sebab Allah mengutus Anak-Nya ke dalam dunia bukan untuk menghakimi dunia, melainkan untuk menyelamatkannya oleh Dia."
random post again~
I am so glad that I am able to have my new modem and its SIM card work. Thanks God! =)
Just drop here to recommend you some songs. They are old songs though, I think, they still deserve to be heard .
Tohoshinki : Day Moon~Harudal~
Tenjochiki : Doushite
Mai Kuraki : Secret of My Heart
Backstreet Boys : What makes you different
Special quote :
"Things sometimes can't run as smoothly as I expect. worst, they even turn out to be so rough that I think I can't bear them. It's hard, but, I still thank God coz I know He's right beside me to help me work it out..."
Just drop here to recommend you some songs. They are old songs though, I think, they still deserve to be heard .
Tenjochiki : Doushite
Mai Kuraki : Secret of My Heart
Backstreet Boys : What makes you different
Special quote :
"Things sometimes can't run as smoothly as I expect. worst, they even turn out to be so rough that I think I can't bear them. It's hard, but, I still thank God coz I know He's right beside me to help me work it out..."
1/05/2011
Campus Life as worshiping~
Campus life for me is similar to learning, studying, organizing, networking...
and also worshiping...
I don't mean to look religious but... as I get older, as I live with so many Christians now, as I learn many things from them, as I have a willing to know and experience God more and more in my life... I get to know that all things I do in this life now should be presented only to God... He has bought me, my life, with His blood... all sin, uncountable sin, has been done in His cross long time ago... no wonder if I have to present all my life to Him...
I can be like I am now, an economic student in one of best universities in this country, even in the world, is only by His Grace... Knowing this makes me realize more that, yeah, I should present my best to Him during my campus life... worshiping... doing everything just like worshiping Him...
so sweeeet... well, like peeps say, easier said than done...
but I'm still learning to implement that in my campus life...ehmm, for my entire life...
to refresh my mind, I have eliminated the songs I used to make in this blog. it needs a long time to show up with good songs heheheh
byeee
and also worshiping...
I don't mean to look religious but... as I get older, as I live with so many Christians now, as I learn many things from them, as I have a willing to know and experience God more and more in my life... I get to know that all things I do in this life now should be presented only to God... He has bought me, my life, with His blood... all sin, uncountable sin, has been done in His cross long time ago... no wonder if I have to present all my life to Him...
I can be like I am now, an economic student in one of best universities in this country, even in the world, is only by His Grace... Knowing this makes me realize more that, yeah, I should present my best to Him during my campus life... worshiping... doing everything just like worshiping Him...
so sweeeet... well, like peeps say, easier said than done...
but I'm still learning to implement that in my campus life...ehmm, for my entire life...
to refresh my mind, I have eliminated the songs I used to make in this blog. it needs a long time to show up with good songs heheheh
byeee
1/04/2011
~Troubling Mourning~
^konnichiwaaaa
first of all, i would like to apologize for my so-long hiatus. there were some problems with my internet connection in my kos2an and i didn't feel like posting through internet cafe hehhe. and now that i go online through my house's connection, i decide to pull aside my laziness and go make a post hehhe...
Well, when I looked back reviewing my latest post, it was about my being in my house--and now i'm here again hehe-- and about my dreams... empty dreams...
there are so many things troubling me right now, starting from my campus' thingies till the smallest part of my life... the most difficult and crucial problems, I think, is about my recent relationship with God...I feel like, instead of being nearer, i'm getting more distant with Him... empty prayer without any sincerity... hard to concentrate while i'm doing quite time... the most confusing thing is i know why that happens, there are so many things distract me , but it doesn't seem I try to find out how to handle it... i'm getting more stressed and, perhaps, all things that troubles me right now are the impacts of the 'cold' relationship i have with God...
and those empty dreams... well, I am kinda ashamed to let you know them. i'm thinking of deleting that entry right now... how come how come i dream things like those while even i have no intention of doing anything right...
stop being poor there! hehehe...
i wanna show you some improvement of my Japanese
watashi wa uchi ni imasu. chichi to haha ni aimashita.... ichiban suki desuuuuu...
korekara, watashi wa tomodachi ni aitai desu, soshite imouto to eiga o mitai desu...
emmm... Jakaruta kara Medan made hikouki de ni jikan gurai kakarimasu. uchi to ga suki desuuuuuuuuu heheheheh
Songs Recommendation :
Casting Crown-Who am I
Crystal Lewis-I'd rather have Jesus
Shinee-Quasimodo, One, Graze
DBSK-Love in the ice, bolero
CSJH The Grace-coming to you, sukoshi de ii kara, boomerang
Jaci Velasquez feat. Jill Phillips-Trust in The Lord
first of all, i would like to apologize for my so-long hiatus. there were some problems with my internet connection in my kos2an and i didn't feel like posting through internet cafe hehhe. and now that i go online through my house's connection, i decide to pull aside my laziness and go make a post hehhe...
Well, when I looked back reviewing my latest post, it was about my being in my house--and now i'm here again hehe-- and about my dreams... empty dreams...
there are so many things troubling me right now, starting from my campus' thingies till the smallest part of my life... the most difficult and crucial problems, I think, is about my recent relationship with God...I feel like, instead of being nearer, i'm getting more distant with Him... empty prayer without any sincerity... hard to concentrate while i'm doing quite time... the most confusing thing is i know why that happens, there are so many things distract me , but it doesn't seem I try to find out how to handle it... i'm getting more stressed and, perhaps, all things that troubles me right now are the impacts of the 'cold' relationship i have with God...
and those empty dreams... well, I am kinda ashamed to let you know them. i'm thinking of deleting that entry right now... how come how come i dream things like those while even i have no intention of doing anything right...
stop being poor there! hehehe...
i wanna show you some improvement of my Japanese
watashi wa uchi ni imasu. chichi to haha ni aimashita.... ichiban suki desuuuuu...
korekara, watashi wa tomodachi ni aitai desu, soshite imouto to eiga o mitai desu...
emmm... Jakaruta kara Medan made hikouki de ni jikan gurai kakarimasu. uchi to ga suki desuuuuuuuuu heheheheh
Songs Recommendation :
Casting Crown-Who am I
Crystal Lewis-I'd rather have Jesus
Shinee-Quasimodo, One, Graze
DBSK-Love in the ice, bolero
CSJH The Grace-coming to you, sukoshi de ii kara, boomerang
Jaci Velasquez feat. Jill Phillips-Trust in The Lord
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