Dua Kutub Bumi dan Bulan

Ada orang yang begitu mengagungkan cinta
Penuh kepalanya, berkobar hatinya
Tak berhenti bibirnya melafalkan
Teruntai oleh tangannya sederet kalimat puitis
Hanya karena satu kata itu
Sengat matahari terasa hangat
Es kutub pun menyejukkan
Katanya karena cinta
Setiap waktu tak ia sia-siakan
Untuk berkata tentang cinta
Untuk menyatakan cinta
Tak pernah ia menunggu esok
Bahkan tak ada kata nanti
Saat bertemu, langsung saja dia katakan
'Aku cinta kamu'
Tak peduli terbalas atau tidak
Bahkan rugi pun dia siap
Asal dia tak kehilangan momen
Asal jangan dia mati dulu baru menyesal
Karena dia tak pernah nyatakan cinta

Tapi...
Ada juga orang yang menutup pintu bagi cinta
Baginya, cinta itu tak ubahnya bagai sabu
Kau jadikan dia bagian hidupmu
Tubuhmu merasakan nikmat...
Tanpa kau sadari dia tengah membuat dirimu
Jatuh dan bergantung padanya untuk bangkit
Jiwamu dicabik-cabik
Karena kepalamu tak lepas darinya
Ya, cinta itu sia-sia
Hanya menimbun penyakit
Tak ada untungnya, apalagi yang tak berbalas
Hanya ada sengsara

Lalu ada aku...
Aku yang hanya bisa mendengar mereka
Tanpa mengerti makna
Objek perdebatan pun aku tak pahan
Bukan, bukan tak pernah aku dengar tentang cinta
Hanya saja yang mereka katakan itu...asing
Menyejukkan bagi yang satu  tapi menyengsarakan
Bagi yang lain
Siap dirugikan kata yang satu
Tapi yang lain menolak karena mencipta sengsara
Atau otakku saja yang memang dangkal?
Tak pernah mencoba mengenal satu kata itu?
Menganggapnya tak lebih sekedar kata?
Tak lebih dari sekedar slogan yang dipakai pelakon...
Entahlah...
Tapi bagiku dua pandangan itu hanya bisa terlahir
Ketika mereka memang merasakan cinta
Sangat berbeda, tapi itu hanya efek
Entah pandangan yang mana yang mereka pegang,
Setidaknya mereka pernah merasakan cinta
Mereka mengenalnya
Tak sepertiku
Yang hanya bisa memandang dari kejauhan
Tanpa asa dan rasa

~ga mau baca ntar muntah haha

Plea towards Unknown

I AM HAVING A BIRTHDAY!!!!

Do you know that?
Will you ever know?

I hope I can have the greeting from you
The one I expect to
But expecting you to do that is just like...
Trying to wishing Holmes to be alive

No way it will ever happen

Coz your eyes were not...
Are not on me...
And perhaps... never will be

I AM HAVING A BIRTHDAY!

Do you hear that?
Will you ever hear?

Still...

You only show me your back
And walk away
I bet your ears are not on me too

It's my birthday, you know...
Even though you decided to leave...
Would I, at very least, have you say a happy birthday to me?

A Plea Coming from Waiting A Promise To Be True

I am bored.
I know it's my fault at the very beginning.
I should have just gone upstairs and tried to get along.
I should have tried heck to fit in.
Or else, I should have not followed the one to be here in the first place.
I should have gone by myself to where I really belong.
As usual.
I do not know why I choose to give up in making new friends.
Perhaps friendship is not really my thing.

Somewhere, in a place I didn't know.

'The moment I saw him/her, I am in love'? Think again =)

Love at first sight.
I found it hard to buy that statement. Story.
It's not that I never admire someone at first meeting. It happens a lot, especially I am a kinda girl who is easily attracted to a man. Especially the hot one. Uhhh I can spend the rest of my day looking at that handsome face and great attitude, so willing to touch his whole...

Well, sorry, quite absorbed with the excitement Lol.

The point I am trying to make is I never believe one can truly fall and feel in love with someone whom he/she just firstly met. Admiring is possible, but it's different. I have admired Justin Timberlake since the first time I saw him, in elementary school. Is it love? No

But I guess I... you know, I'm trying to think that might be true anyway...

A few dayss ago, I happened to have a convo with my mother's friend. We talked about many things. Actually she's the one who led the convo, which kinda helped the unwitted me LOL.
She told me bout her past, like where she used to live and school before she came and lived in Medan, why she chose her present job, and how she met his husband.
And hers is kinda...surprised me! Like really? I thought that kinda thing only happened in fiction world... in romance series to be specific...

"I met my husband when I was young... in the ship that brought me, alone, from Jakarta to Medan." Said that woman.

"Ooh.." I responded, not so interested. At first. But finally she could grab my attention when she told me this thing.

"I was about to spend holiday there back then. One time, I had a coffee in the restaurant there. All of a sudden, a man, who then becomes my husband, spoiled his coffee at my shirt... around this area" She pointed at her stomach. "It was hot, you know... I screamed many teribble things at him because of that."

"What?" I rolled my eyes, couldn't believe what my ears heard. "He...spoiled his coffee...to you?"

She nodded. "Yes. And I screamed at him..."repeated her, "...in Karonese*. That was why he knew I was, like him, a Karonese. And after that in the ship, he followed me, asked about myself, my home in Medan, told me that we were brothers because we're coming from the same tribe and hometown so we should help each other..."

Up to this, I don't know how I looked like when I listened to her story. Hers wow-ed to the extent it made me wonder whether my ears really ever and was listening to this thing.

Okay, that was overboard. I just wanted to make it seem dramatic LOL.

Let's continue.

"...and after we arrived in Medan and separated, he didn't let me. He looked for my home and when he got that, he came and visited my family. And he easily got closer to my family..." I said enthusiatically.

"Waw he's so damn...brave! Thick-skinned, he is! I can't imagine he just...came in to your house and..." I lost words!

She laughed. "Yeah. And he did not stop there. When I went back to Jakarta, he asked my address to my parents before he also went back to that city. He introduced himself to my big sister that lived with me...and also successfully grab her attention, too."

"What? Really? Oh he really is a thick-skin!" I said with big laugh. "But I have to admit that he's brilliant, you know! Caught your family, then caught you! Well, it's quite unbelievable. It's so like TV series!"

She just smiled, her eyes looked up to the ceilling, perhaps quite reminiscing the days she was young, having a journey and coincidentally meeting a stranger, someone uknown, quite suspicious may be, but trying hard to get her attention, to grab her heart so that he could get in there and be her one. And that started from the very first time he saw and knew her.

After that, I told her she was so blessed to have a husband like that. To ever meet that kind of man who fought so much to get to know her, make her know him, and reach her heart.

So rare, isn't it?

Yeah this story makes me wonder whether Love at first sight does exist or not...
But the more I think about it, the more I believe in Love at first sight...NOT!
Lol yeah I think what happened to my mom's friend is not Love at first sight at all. Um, perhaps her husband admired her beauty at the first time. But he didn't take it for granted!  He chased her even to her home to get to know her deeper while also seizing the chance to take her heart and her beloved ones' too so if he finally made up his mind to propose, he surely has somewhat complete information, and vice versa.
Let's say, it started with admiration, and end up happily in a marriage.

Rather than believing in Love at first sight, I buy it more to Love is a process.

Not have the same opinion? Feel free to speak yours! =)

In The Still of The Night

A few days ago, no, weeks ago, at the 3rd day of my staying here after coming from Jakarta, I was wondering about the happiness that I looked in my father's eyes. He smiled a lot, laughed so often, and enjoyed most of his time without shouting angrily, even when things didn't go as he expected...

He looked so happy it made me confused as well as annoyed, because, I don't know why, he teased me often.

Perhaps, if that was MY DAD, I mean, if it was what my dad usually did, I wouldn't have been so surprised, confused, yet happy because there's not horror atmosphere at home.
At that time, I thought that was the best days...
But I don't know why suddenly a thought came, it pushed me to wonder if God wouldn't let such things go forever...
No, no need forever, at least, for a while...
Perhaps an experience that strengthen the belief there's no happiness that last long in this earthly life makes me think like that...
Days after days the water still calmed, until three days before New Year, I heard a bad news about my father's situation from his previous 'project'. A project that's a side job outside his formal one, of which I actually never disagree and eventually the end that we think was good is not an end. It's only a beginning for something annoying. Something that gives a headache. Something...something that worse our year end. Something that makes my father's day go bad. Something that takes the happiness that I see from my father's eyes so fast...that I don't even have time to record it well in my mind...

Suddenly, I see my father's eyes go red, he's so tense...
He easily goes angry, shouts for wrongs we do, looks tired, has no sense of humor.
What happens to him right now really affects our home...
My mother is often shouted at for some things that she, in my father's opinion, can't manage well
and so are my bro, sis, and I. (LOL)
Our home is quite tense, too, at least in my eyes, following my father's change of mood.

I really want my, you know, my-some-day-before-end-of-year father who looks so happy, joyful, warns his child in a quite nice way but enough to make me and my bro and sis reflect...
I don't mind being teased if that will make him happy
At least he can be more at ease...

God... if You could change my father's state of heart really fast from bright to gray, would You mind doing otherwise, too?

Amnesia attacked!! This is what happened then...

I decide to write again in this blog after so long unofficial hiatus LOL. Actually I got some ideas bout things I would like to put here but suddenly ... an amnesia attacked! LOL the last part is hyperbolic but yeah, I forgot what I wanted to write in the first place.
So in order not to waste time by only looking at the blank entry without any clue what to write, and also to try myself commit once again to write frequently here, I decide to just drop by to say some news :
- I have resigned from my job as a Junior Consultant in the HR Consulting Office (well, you may read my previous post to be clearer)
- I just read about the friendship of Tolkien (the author of The Hobbit and The Lord of The Ring Trilogy) and Cs Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia, Space Trilogy, Screwtape Letters) and am amused! It's not an ordinary friendship, in my opinion.They became personal readers to each other for their writings, gave comments and critiques about them, tried to tell the Truth about Christ through myths and fictions (the favorite things at that time, and until now hehe), though at last they did not end up as close as the used to be. But still... it's enough to make crave for that kind of friendship =)
- I am grateful for my family, for being with them in the last year's Christmas and this new year.
- I am grateful for my friends God gives to color my life, to prove me that God's presence is everywhere
- I am grateful for achievements God gave me. It's only by His Grace.
- I am grateful for everything. Grateful for His promise to be with me forever despite my imperfection in everything
- I am grateful for beating my laziness to write in this blog LOL

Some things I would like to share as this new year comes :
I hope  I can care more to this blog, write more, and also read other people's writings more to improve mine.
I hope I can feel God's companion more, especially through people around me, whom last year I, emm, put some distance on purpose...

I hope for better things in this new year!